This Is What Friendship Looks Like

On August 18 one of my greatest friends died suddenly of complications that resulted from surgery.  Chris Ricks of Jefferson City, Missouri was and is an uncommon human being.  He was a man of deep faith, seeing and practicing Christianity not as a religion, but as a relationship with a living Savior.  Chris was a passionate and energetic husband, father, and grandfather.  The pastors, leaders, and servants who have been a part of Wesley United Methodist Church in Jefferson can attest to Chris being a churchperson at a sacrificial and impacting level.  United Methodism throughout our state and our region have been impacted by this joy-filled follower of Jesus.  And generations of church camp campers' lives have been blessed by his leadership.  A Missouri State Highway Patrolman for most of his adult life, Chris served the Patrol in many capacities, whether on the road, providing security for Missouri's governors and families, or leading and teaching at MSHP's headquarters and academy.  As a citizen Chris gave selflessly to service clubs, the Jefferson City public schools, and Jeff City Jays' athletics.   Those of us who know and love Chris are struggling now to figure out what the world is like without Chris Ricks in it.

There's no way I could summarize adequately what it means to me to have enjoyed Chris' friendship for the 31 years we've known each other.  Chris and I were both a part of a Christian growth movement that came out of the Spanish "Cursillo" experience.  Chris and his wife were part of what is known as "The Walk to Emmaus", while Elaine and I participated in "Camino in Christianity" and then "United Methodist Cursillo."  One thing these expressions share in common is a simple slogan:  "Make a friend, be a friend, bring a friend to Christ."  Chris could have been the originator of this marching order.

Make a friend.   Chris went beyond simply befriending those who happened to be people within the natural spheres of his existence, people who mirrored his personality, or people who shared his likes or dislikes.   He intentionally pushed beyond his comfort zones to make friends.  I am an example of this.  Chris had a very gregarious, out-going personality.  I am a much quieter, more introspective person.  Yet Chris went out of his way to build a relationship with me, without requiring me to be anyone other than who I am.  Beyond this, Chris did not keep his friendships within the circles of church persons.  He knew that we cannot share Christ with those who do not know him unless we befriend those persons.

Be a friend.   Way too many friendships wane over the years.  They diminish and dissolve as time, distances, changing circumstances, differences and other elements vary.  I've certainly been guilty of allowing this to happen.   Chris did not allow it.  His friendship was solid in and out of season.  Chris is one of those people who has stood by me and so many others both when we were at our best and when we were at our worst.  And, again, those for whom Jesus was just a name or a word found in Chris what the relentless, sacrificial love of God looks like.

Bring a friend to Christ.  This is that which fueled Chris' heart; to aim someone toward the welcoming, nail-scarred hands of the Savior.  Never did Chris do this by coercion, argumentation, judgmental Bible-thumping, or callous disregard for the present state of the individual.  He just did it with unconditional, affirming love.

This is what friendship looks like.  If I accomplish a small fraction of what Chris did in my lifetime, it will be a life well lived.

Go rest high upon that mountain, Chris Ricks.  I'll see you around the next bend in the river.