Somebody Else's Family Reunion

Ron is one of the smartest Jesus-followers I know. He is the founding and lead pastor of the largest and fastest growing church in our region. Starting in a movie theater over two decades ago, this church has a stellar record of making new disciples for Jesus. Ron and I facilitate a learning experience for pastors who want to move their congregations farther away from maintenance (just taking care of our own) to mission (reaching people living far from God). He lead the session this month. During his teaching he made two astute observations.

First he noted that most churches are friendly. I remember that from doing evangelism consultations in several churches in years gone by. I would ask people, "What is the one characteristic of your church that would be attractive to new people?" Without exception, folks in every congregation would say, "Well, we're a friendly church." Then Ron pointed out that most churches are friendly among themselves. Warm welcomes and inviting conversations happen among the people who already know each other and who see each other on a weekly basis. Ron notes that people who are seeking a faith connection and a church connection aren't looking for a friendly church. They are looking for a church where they can quickly and easily make friends. They want to be welcomed into relationships through which they can experience God, not just given a flurry of welcome as newcomers, then otherwise dismissed.

Second, he observed that going to most churches as a newcomer is like going to someone else's family reunion. That observation is simply brilliant! By intention I spend a good deal of time as a first time visitor in many congregations. I experience excellent worship services, with solid preaching. I meet good, faithful people, serving God in meaningful ways. But I usually find myself in the middle of relationships that are already in place, stories that are already known by everyone but me, inside jokes and meanings of which I am unaware - all the stuff that family members know, but strangers do not. No one intends to make people feel left out, but it happens.

Any church can be friendly. It takes commitment and work to be a congregation where new people can make friends. Any church can be like an on-going family reunion. It takes passionate intent to be a family whose primary focus is to adopt others. I'll see you around the next bend in the river.